My first "how soon we forget" moment came when I went to put in a VHS movie for Bennett. I couldn't figure out why it started in the middle. I pressed stop twice and play again (was it somehow resuming "Memory Play"?). Still wasn't at the beginning. Ejected it, put it in again, still not at the beginning. What the??.....Oh yeah. We used to have to REWIND movies! Sheesh...had me totally stumped there for a minute. :)
The second "how soon we forget" moment came from Judie's mom, Laura (aka GG), who lives with them. GG's favorite pastime is Scrabble. Jon usually plays with her (hence the reason she's not shy in telling anyone he's her favorite grandson) but since he wasn't there, we decided to oblige and play a game with her. Right about when we started, Jon showed up so we assigned him "baby duty" so we could play Scrabble uninterrupted (ie: get it over with quickly!). Jon went down to the playroom with them. GG pipes up in her British accent, "its such a shame you're away from your boys." "Pardon me??", I ask. Did I hear that correctly? Is she low on sugar again?? But clear as day she says, "Its a shame you came over here and your boys are whisked away from you. I'm sure you hate to be away from them." I tried to suppress my laughter and spewed out something like, "Uh, no, that's the point of coming here! To get a break! Don't you remember needing a break every now and then?". And she says something like, "Oh, I hated to be away from my children. They meant the world to me". Wow. Will we get to that point someday? Will we forget how hard it is most days? Will we forget that our favorite times of the day are naptime and bedtime? (Admit it...you know yours is too. And if it isn't...you haven't had a two-year old yet). I hope that's true of all of us. I hope at the end of my life I'm filled with memories of the joy and laughter and pride my children brought me in those early years instead of the difficulty, frustration and occasional tears. I hope the good far outweighs the bad.
I'll be totally honest, I'm being tested as a parent. Sure, my life changed drastically when Bennett was born and those first 8 weeks of his life were some of the very hardest of my life but other than that (and a handful of weeks around when he turned two), I've felt confidence, pride and joy in my roll as his mother. He's always taken discipline pretty easily, he's very sensitive and his reaction to most things is to get sad, not mad. He didn't purposefully hurt a child until he was at least 2 and he didn't even yell or scream until he stared mimicking other kids around 2 or 2 1/2. It was still hard- he's always been a boy, destroying everything in his path and hated being cooped up at home. But I'm realizing now more than ever, that he's just never been difficult. My easiest time as a parent was when he was between 12 and 20 months old. He was just happy all the time. I just couldn't sympathize very well with people who had strong-willed children (and was so grateful for that!).
I knew Dawson would be different from the womb. Seriously. That boy moved so much more than Bennett and with such ferocity. I was really nervous, thinking that Bennett was already so wild. But I'm an eternal optimist so I just kept telling myself, how different can they really be? Oh glory. I had no idea. If we don't leave the house all day, It honestly seems like he's crying or whining the majority of the time he's awake. I have so much more sympathy for parents who had colicky babies. That's seriously what it feels like I'm dealing with. This was the easiest phase of Bennett's life and right now this is the hardest phase of Dawson's. How much worse is it going to be when he's turning 2 and 3?? I just get these moments of anxiety, wondering how in the heck we'll make it through. And the other day, I was praying, saying to God, "I just don't want things to be difficult with him his whole life! I don't want it to always be a struggle with Dawson!" Maybe that's a little melodramatic but that's what I fear. So moms out there of strong willed boys, (especially ones who have gone through it recently and actually remember how hard it was :) I need your advice and encouragement! I also need to start reading some books. Parenting Bennett has always come very naturally but I feel like I'm floundering with my second born. Love & Logic is on my list...I just haven't gotten it yet.
And so this post isn't