Truths

This is a list floating around facebook right now, that my sister posted. I have no clue who originally wrote it but I don't think I've ever laughed out loud so much just from reading something. It deserves a blog post. Enjoy :)

• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
• There is great need for a sarcasm font.
• How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
• Was learning cursive really necessary?
• Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
• I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
• Bad decisions make good stories.
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.*
• I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. **
• Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
• There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
• Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"
• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

*I must have been really naive or sheltered when I was little because this happens to me all the time. Hello, Gattica?? :)

**My husband proved this one once by wearing a pair of jeans for 65 days in a row. True story. What, that seems weird? You don't know my husband. :) He's also the only person on the continent of North America who's never been in an Old Navy.