I went from living at home, to a couple years of college, to married life. And in those 13 years of marriage, I never saw a bill or a bank statement. I never mowed a lawn. I never had to take care of my car. I signed things when they were placed in front of me and didn't ask too many questions. I knew nothing about how to be financially responsible and manage a home.
I'm a terrible single parent. If there's another adult around I generally have the patience of a saint. But leave me with three WILD, RAUCOUS, boys all alone and my resources are depleted within minutes. I get stressed anytime there's too much noise and chaos and unfortunately that's the status quo with three boys.
I thought God wouldn't ever allow my marriage to dissolve because he knows my weaknesses when it comes to love and dating. I don't do single life well. I crave love and affection and companionship and had a few rough months last year when I was thrown to the wolves. There are a lot of men out there who will devour their prey. Dating in your 30's is a lot different than dating at 16.
Too hard. Not cut out for this. I can't do it.
I was incredibly honored and excited when Lisa Leonard's team contacted me and said they'd like me to be in their family of influencers. I clicked over to her blog and the first thing that popped up was a post called, "The Unexpected Gift".
Here's a snippet of the words that made tears well up in my eyes:
It filled me up. My hope was light and bright and good. It was so beautiful my soul could hardly take it.