Mommy Confessional

I've been feeling guilty lately. Pretty sure my son's brain is slowly turning to mush (does that really happen??). Bennett watches way too much TV. I keep reading parenting articles about limiting screen time to no more than 2 hours a day. Eventually their boredom would propel them to use their imaginations. That sounds like a lot but we're far exceeding that number (gulp). I mean, sure, I could console myself with the fact that we're not nearly as bad as some families who never turn the TV off but the fact is, if we just judged our own success based on other people, I could pretty much slack off on all kinds of stuff and still feel good about my parenting skills.

Bennett, 17 mos:

So anyway, this is how our day goes: Bennett gets up between 7 and 7:30 and goes straight downstairs and knows how to start his own movie. Jon gets up for work and gets Bennett's breakfast before he leaves. I usually sleep til 8 or 8:30 (ideally I'd get up at 7:30 but I'm excusing myself right now due to pregnancy exhaustion) then I get up and take a shower and we're not ready to leave til at least 10 or 11. (Dawson doesn't get up til at least 9.) And the TV has pretty much stayed on the whole morning til we leave.

Then when Dawson goes down for his 3 hour nap, I let Bennett watch TV or play computer games so I can chill and have some me time. So realistically speaking, he was watching at least 6 hours a day!! That's a little sickening. I NEVER wanted to have kids who couldn't entertain themselves or didn't have any imagination.

So earlier this week I made a commitment to myself to turn the TV off in the morning by 10 at the latest (small steps :) and then let Bennett watch 1 movie or play 1 hour of video/computer games during Dawson's nap. The rest of the time will be up to him to entertain himself. The other day we were going to Nana and Poppy's for dinner and Bennett's obsessed with playing Angry Birds on Poppy's iPad so he had to forgo all of his afternoon screen time so he could play the iPad later. It went pretty well and he ended up playing with Lego's for quite a while.

I do realize that as soon as preschool starts, (he's going 4 days in the afternoons) he won't have any screen time besides the morning and also, as Dawson get older, they'll play together better and next year will actually be able to go outside together without me having to supervise Dawson's every move.

I just wanted to throw all this out there for A) some encouragement and accountability in this area and B) possibly for some ideas of some activities for Bennett to do all by himself. I think I should probably get over my hate for huge messes and let him do some painting at home because he does like that. He's never been interested in coloring. I did get a huge Kindergarten workbook (the Brainquest line) at Costco that he likes working through. So anyway...this has just been on my mind a lot lately and hopefully some of you can relate to my struggle!

Vegas

This week Jon and I headed to Vegas for 3 days because of a free hotel voucher we had. Neither of us would necessarily choose to visit that city (its a bit overrated) but we've been dying to see Cirque du Soleil's "O" so we figured this would be a perfect opportunity. Well...turns out it was sold out the whole time we were there. Big bummer. But, to make up for that disappointment, Jon had a HUGE surprise for me. When Candy was here in Des Moines several weeks ago, we had suggested the idea of her meeting us in Vegas (since our resort had a separate bedroom and a pull out couch in the living room) but Candy told me it wouldn't work out. Turns out she and Jon were in cahoots the whole time. Jon left me in the middle of a time-share presentation (more on that) because he had a surprise. I was thinking he had somehow found "O" tickets. But about 30 minutes later, he walked in with Candy! I was shocked. She was there for a little more than 24 hours and we all had so much fun. It was the best surprise Jon has ever pulled off.

At the Venetian:

The slick "statue" who was winking at us and rubbing our hands the whole time we were taking the picture! AH! Totally gave me the creeps. We couldn't stop laughing about it:

High rollers. We bet $1. I got suckered back in and lost my $3.50. Candy quit while she was ahead:

At Red Rocks, only about 40 minutes away. SO refreshing to get out of the city and hike around here:

Jon's been a huge fan of Pawn Stars so of course we had to stop by. It was pretty fun but none of the TV cast was there:

So back to the time share deal. I know I've mentioned on here that we always do a couple on our vacations because the free stuff they offer you is too good to pass up for us penny-pinchers. So we did 3 during our three days there. Yep, 3. And they were just as annoying as you might imagine. But Jon knows now to hold out for a good deal, so from those 3 time share presentations we ended up with 1 extra night in our hotel (we only had 2 free nights to begin with), a $200 voucher for an Allegiant flight, $100 cash, $100 in gaming chips (which we quickly lost at the Roulette table. You couldn't just cash them in), another free 2 night stay at a different hotel in Vegas and 2 free Blue Man Group tickets. Seriously...wouldn't you do that too?? :) Ok, I know some of you wouldn't sit through 6 hours of timeshare presentations for all that and more but Jon will do anything for a buck. Ok, I will too. And really, without spending a lot of money, there wasn't a whole lot to do. We also paid to go see Cirque du Soleil's "Mystere" while Candy was with us and it was worth every penny. I will never get sick of that show and it was so fun for Candy to be able to experience it for the first time. Jon and I saw Blue Man Group the following night and although I laughed a lot and definitely enjoyed it, it was a bit disappointing. But for free, it was awesome and I felt so lucky to see two shows in one week!

It was a pretty good trip but not exactly relaxing. But it was so great to spend time with Candy again and to have some time away from the kiddos. Can't complain about that!

9.

Celebrating 9 years of marriage to my hubby today. 9! That's a big number. The last of the single digits and then I think we're officially an old married couple. I remember waking up on our wedding day with a huge grin on my face...so eager to marry the man of my dreams. My favorite moment of that day was driving off in a borrowed yellow Corvette convertible, knowing it was just us now!

We've been through the good, the bad, and the ugly in 9 years. But the worst of it has fortified our commitment to each other, taught us to never stop working on our relationship and to constantly keep the other person's needs ahead of our own. Marriage is so hard. But this man, whom I love more than any human being on this earth, is worth every amount of sacrifice and bit of energy I have to give. My favorite moments of all with him are when we're able to travel together without the kids. Our trip to Mexico in March was so refreshing. Once you have kids, you lose a lot. Those carefree days with each other are gone, so that vacation just brought back that spark and reminded me how much fun we have together when two boys aren't zapping 99% of my energy before I see him at the end of the day. He's absolutely my best friend and it always amazes me that I never get sick of hanging out with him :)

Jon's not even home today. You know its been a while when you get really excited about a sweet card and $20 bucks to buy a Starbucks and Chick-fil-A for dinner ;) We're going on a brief little getaway to Las Vegas next week though, (thanks to a Rainbow Vacuum sales presentation :) and I can't wait to celebrate!

A Season of Change

That sums up our life lately. A lot of big changes going on. I've had several things to blog about but haven't made time (sorry....I was reading a great book so any free time was being devoted to that. Check out the book list.) So here's a summary of what's been happening lately:

• Firstly, our brother-in-law made it safely home from Afghanistan last week! We all got to go to the welcome home ceremony and I was so honored to be there. It was such an emotional day, you could physically feel it in your body. It hit me hard as we were on our way and the streets of the small town the ceremony was being held in were lined with people waving flags to greet the motorcade of soldiers as they passed. It felt like every American flag I saw that day was hanging in their honor. Such relief I felt for my sister. Even driving to their house for lunch with friends and family afterwards felt surreal. For the first time in a year I wasn't going over there to pick up her girls or keep her company.



• And a change in scenery- Jon finished the landscaping in the back and it looks gorgeous. I had something like this in mind but honestly didn't think it would be affordable or would turn out this nice. Its perfect.




• A biggie, which most of you probably know by now is my parents are moving this week....to Memphis. My dad got a job offer at Grace Evangelical Church that suited his gifts and talents to a T. Its an associate pastor position so he'll be teaching an adult Sunday School class, assisting/mentoring a younger pastor on staff in men's ministries and doing pastoral care (funerals, weddings, hospital visits, etc.). They sold their house her in Johnston in a week so that was a huge stress reliever. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm sad and the answer is...not yet. I know I will be (and shed the first tears about it last night during a slide show at a going-away party at their old church.) But I'm an optimist. Its my natural reaction to only focus on the positives. I love having an excuse to travel a lot and thankfully we'll have a warmer place to visit during the loooong winter months in Iowa. And I think in the long run it will bring us closer--a lot less "quantity time" but a lot more quality time.




• And subsequent to the previous change, I'll be quitting my 2 day a week job at America's Family Coaches to stay home full time (since my mom provided one of those days of childcare). I'm thankful for this transition as I only went back to fill in the gap a bit financially, but Jon's job is going well and prayerfully will continue to get better with each passing month. I have to admit, I finally understand why moms look forward to the start of school every year as the days with two very active boys are long. So I'm excited for the routine of 4 day preschool to help a bit.


• And perhaps the biggest change of all will be arriving around February 23, 2012. Hopefully of the female variety this time ;)

You can never have too much Candy...

At least this kind. My best friend (for 10 years now!) came for a quick visit from Cali last weekend. She left her 2 kiddos at home so I made sure to have plenty of childcare lined up and we had all kinds of fun.

Day 1: Lunch downtown (my new favorite place--Proof. We didn't stop thinking about that lunch all weekend) and shopping in the East Village (also found my new favorite store--Porch Light. Tons of adorable vintage stuff). An afternoon coffee and dessert at Smokey Row, then we went out to dinner and to the Funny Bone comedy club that night with Jon.

Day 2: relaxing day at the pool. The Colyers had some family in town so they planned a day at the pool (seen here). Jon was so sweet and kept the boys that morning so we could go over by ourselves and have a couple of glorious quiet hours to read in the sun. The rest of the family joined after lunch.

Some neighbors had some puppies for sale. I'm a huge sucker for baby animals (but not at all a sucker for full grown animals so I'm totally fine with just cuddling them and letting somebody else take them home)

Day 3: Gateway Market for lunch (free kids meals all weekend! Have you had the french fries there?? Ummm, yeah. Pretty sure I dreamt about them that night) then Jon tagged along with the ladies to Jordan Creek mall for some more shopping.

There were a couple of movies in our theatre room and a pint of Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch in there somewhere. The next day we headed to Omaha for an early dinner at Twisted Fork in the Old Market (delicious- i definitely recommend it. And I loved the cowboy chic decor.) and then we said farewell at the airport, most likely until next year. It was a perfect weekend (and thanks to my moms for keeping the boys!). I'm so blessed to have a friend like her but always wish it didn't require a plane to see her. Maybe we'll be next door neighbors in heaven.

Phase 1 Complete

After several delays due to the weeks of torrential downpours we had, Jon finally got the cement poured for the patio! It was a big job but he and a couple other guys got it finished in just a couple of hours. I was impressed (although I'm always impressed by my hubby!).

A couple of new chairs from Target and we're set! (Although someday I would love something like these, these cheapos will do just fine for now):

The view from the new chairs:

And the view from our living room...when it's just too hot to sit out there anymore, I can sit next to the window to supervise:

On to Phase 2: Landscaping...

It was inevitable...

I've joked since Bennett started walking that that boy would walk a mile on his own without looking back to see if I was anywhere in sight. I've always been just slightly envious of the moms with kiddos who stay glued to their leg and wouldn't even let go if there was a piece of candy laying 2 feet from them. Ok, that's not really true. I love having brave boys who will go anywhere and try anything, but it sure would make parenting a lot more...relaxing. Not having to chase a child down or keep your eyes glued on them whenever you're in an area that's not fenced in!

So yesterday, Bethany and I, and the 4 kiddos went to the zoo on a gorgeous 75 degree day. And so did a whole lot of other people. It was packed. There's a petting zoo area with a HUGE playground in the middle that's kind of walled in and maze-like (ie: zero visibility). I was with Dawson showing him how to feed the goats with the food other kids dropped (yes, I'm that cheap. Why spend $.50 when its all over the ground? :) and he was cracking up and loving it. I seriously wasn't even keeping my eye on Bennett. I just assumed he was on the playground. So after about 20 minutes had passed without having seen Bennett, I mentioned it to Bethany. So we both were casually looking for him. After about 5 minutes of casually looking, we really started to search. He was nowhere to be found. I even left the petting zoo and wandered through part of the zoo but couldn't imagine where he would be. I finally alerted a staff member and they sent out the call on the walkie talkies. I wasn't that worried until a good 10 minutes went by with all the zoo staff looking for him. We ran into a couple friends of ours who were all looking for him too. By then I erupted into tears when staff kept asking me what he looked like and what he was wearing and hearing their walkie's signaling no one had found him. My mind didn't really go the whole kidnapping route (well, it did, but I pushed it away quick). I just knew he'd wandered off somewhere. But still, it was scary nonetheless. So about 15 minutes after the staff started searching they found him...playing in the gift shop. If you've been to the Des Moines zoo, you'll know how far away that is from the petting zoo. And if you haven't...well...its pretty far.

When they brought him back he said, "I forgot you were in the petting zoo!" and when I told him he should not have left without me, he slapped his forehead and said, "What was I thinking?". The good thing- we all survived although I was definitely shaken up. The bad thing- Bennett wasn't scared at all. I realized we've been to that zoo so many times and he's so familiar with it, it just wasn't a big deal for him to wander away and find the gift shop.

I remember a mom a little older than me who asked a strange man at the mall to grab her son and pretend to take him when he wandered off again. Just for a minute or two to scare him. A lot of people thought that was a little extreme. I'm starting to think that's not such a bad idea!!

I can't even imagine now how my mom felt when she lost Bethany at the beach when she was 2 or 3. The beach! No staff members everywhere with walkie talkies...and the ocean on one side. Man...one reason I should be glad we don't live by the ocean. (Ok, the only reason).